About a year ago, I tried to kill myself.
About a year ago, my best friend and my boyfriend told me they did stuff together.
About a year ago, my mother and I got into a fight and she called me selfish.
About a year ago, my dad was at sea.
About a year ago, I felt alone.
About a year ago, I thought no one would care.
About a year ago, I remember my mothers warning about her nicotine patches.
About a year ago, I hoped the patches would give me a heart attack I wouldn’t come back from.
About a year ago, I texted my best friends and told them I was sorry and that I had to go.
About a year ago, I hated myself more than anything else in the world.
About a year ago, I knelt in front of the toilet and puked my guts up.
About a year ago, my friend got scared and called 911.
About a year ago, my mother found me puking with about 48 milligrams of nicotine on my arm.
About a year ago, my mother ripped those patches off and screamed at me.
About a year ago, my mothers heart was breaking because she didn’t understand why I would do something like that and she blamed herself.
About a year ago, my baby brother was crying because he didn’t understand why his big Sissy was so hurt.
About a year ago, the paramedics came and found me in shock.
About a year ago, I sat staring at the ceiling while the woman desperately tried to get me to tell her what I had been trying to do.
About a year ago, I went to a therapist for the first time.
About a year ago, I cried and let my feelings out to my mother for the first time.
About a year ago, I had to miss the first week of school because my mother thought I needed a break.
About a year ago, I went back to school and had to deal with the looks of pity and shock from everyone.
About a year ago… I was miserable…
About half a year ago… I fell in love with one of my best friends.
About five months ago, I told him I loved him.
About four months ago, I called him crying and admitted to him about my suicide attempt and my depression.
About four months ago, he cried with me and told me he didn’t ever want me to feel that way again.
About four months ago, he promised to take care of me for the rest of my life.
About a month ago, I saw him for the first time in months and everything was right in my world.
About a month ago, I kissed him and felt my world brighten just a little.
About a month ago, I knew what it was like to be held while you cried.
About a week ago, I realized that I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him if I’d been successful.
About a week ago, I realized that I’m actually the luckiest girl in the world.
Yesterday, we were talking about our future wedding.
Today, I have something to live for.
Today, I want to let everyone know that I survived and you can too.
Today, I want you to know that you aren’t alone.
Today, I hugged my mother and you should too.
Today, I told my father he’s best and you should too.
Today, I wrestled with my brothers and you should too.
Today… I am not alone.